We've developed a shorthand in the last few years for categorizing issues as IMPORTANT or 'trivial'.  Or more precisely, the media has developed a lazy shorthand, and we mere plebian wankers have all happily followed suit.  We've picked up the lingo and so we no longer need to waste any time on unproductive and wasteful things like critical thinking.

I refer, of course, to the use of the suffixes "-gate" and "-er".

It all began back in the early pleistocene era of modern politics, the Second Term of the Nixon Administration, which is as far back as any modern writer appears able to remember.  The bugging of the Democratic National Committee headquarters in the Watergate office complex lead to the "Watergate Scandal" and opened the floodgates to unbridled "gating" ever since.  We have been treated to an endless array of "gates", from "TravelGate" to "TestGate" to "TrooperGate"

If at this point in history, you dear reader are in any doubt as to what the suffix "-gate" means, then please permit me to translate it for you.  "A source I kind of like has made some sort of an accusation I find interesting, and we need to talk about this, becasue it is our solemn duty as serious journalists to run down every possible lead, no matter how preposterous until the public has fully accepted that the scandal is real."

On the flip side, the history of "-er" is not so clear, but its origins probably predate "-gate" by about 20 years, going back to the days of the John Birch Society in its heyday.  Members of that group were called "Birchers".  Though it suffered under a pall of disuse, the venerable "-er" has seen a glorious resurgence with its application in the last few years to "Truthers", "Flaggers" (an appelation peculiar to the South) and most recently "Birthers".

I hope you will also allow me, gentle reader, to translate this power-packed suffix for you:  "Some rube who I do not like has made an accusation I find uncomfortable, and they must be scorned as boobs for continuing to harp on this ludicrous subject now that I has spoke!"

Now, at this stage, I feel constrained to point out that I am not a Bircher, a Truther, a Flagger or even a Birther.  I am, however, a Rotter, a Stinker, a Conniver and a host of other things that end in '-er' but which I can't think of right now.

So for all of those other writers out there - news, blog or otherwise - who jump gleefully on the "ErGate" bandwagon, here's a little reminder:

Motive is NOT Evidence!  EITHER WAY!

No matter what the reasons - idiotic or idealistic - someone has for advancing a theory, supposition, claim or analysis, their motive is NOT evidence that they are right or wrong.  It may well be reason to look with suspicion on the claim.  It is legitimate to ask probing questions.  It is always appropriate to be circumspect and cautious in one's deliberations.

But being able to slap a "-gate" or an "-er" at the end of a word is never an ANSWER. 

It's a shorthand, lazy, dismissal of the duty to think.  So please, leave your "ers" at the "gate".